Things you may not know about Paris...

I've compiled a helpful list to help culture you all au sujet de Paris. Enjoy!

1) The whole baguette thing isn’t a joke. They haven’t discovered sliced bread here yet, so they eat baguettes for breakfast. And lunch. And supper. At any given time of day as you walk down the street, you’re likely to see 8 out of 10 people carrying a lethally hard bread stick. On a side note, I’m dying for grilled cheese!

2) Taxes and tips are included in the price of everything you buy, so you never have to stand in a store, staring at a pack of underwear thinking “what’s $8.59 times 14%? Will a ten cover that?”

3) Jordan and I usually get made fun of for taking our “ca-ca’s”, or our “blankies” everywhere with us. (It’s legit! Not everyone has sleeping bags handy. And why not, really?). Anyways, here, “ca-ca” is something you wanna stay away from. It’s dog poop. And it’s everywhere.

4) Everything—grocery stores, museums, businesses—are all closed for a couple hours in the afternoon so everyone can go home and eat lunch. It’s a nice idea, but not everyone closes at the same time. So you may go to the grocery store at 3:30 thinking your safe…and no, it’s still lunch time. Or you may go downstairs at 11:00am to buy laundry tokens…and no, it’s lunch time. I think we should adopt 2 hour lunch siestas in Canada though. It’s a super idea, really.

5) It’s considered “in style” for girls to wear tights under shorts with a pair of high heels. And other than the bum population, everyone here is “a la mode”. No, not served with ice-cream—they’re all fashionable. So when I come home wearing shorts and tights, don’t laugh…you all know you’ll be wearing the same thing next spring!

6) Car bumpers are actually meant for bumping. If you’ve parallel parked and there’s more than 10 cm of space between your car and the car in front of you, you’re not done parking yet. I don’t understand how it’s even possible to get out of a space like that…I’ve watched an 18 point turn take place! I have finally discovered the purpose of the Smart Car though…

7) The French don’t count the main floor of a building as a level. Well, I guess they do, its floor # 0. They call it “rez-de-chaussée” [level of the road]. So when I say I live on the fifth floor, I’m actually on the sixth floor.

8) I had to laugh the other day when I came out of the bathroom at a restaurant with Steph and asked “So, did you get a seat this time?” Yup, you’re lucky if you get a toilet seat in Paris. I’m really not sure why half the bathrooms don’t have one though. One theory is that all the immigrants steal them. I’m curious though, as to what anyone would do with a collection of dirty public toilet seats…let alone how they’d get away with walking around with them in public…None the less, I’ve found an upside to the lack of toilet seats—ab workout every time I have to go pee.

And that's everything you need to know about Paris in 8 simple points. Now that you're cultured, please come and visit, wearing shorts and tights, and carrying either a baguette or toilet seat, and impress toutes les Parisiens.

I have no idea if this is actually proper French, but:

Bonne journée de la Saint Valentin! [Happy Valentine's day!]